5 second rule

Life is Like a Stack of Chocolate Pancakes.

When Forrest Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you're gonna get," I think he meant it as a good thing.  Forrest was an inspirational guy, and I'm fairly certain he wasn't lamenting the stark truism that a box of chocolates is -- let's face it -- an unpredictable minefield where you might end up with some kind of jellified raspberry monstrosity or a mysterious orange marshmallow corn syrup "creme."

I'd rather eat pancakes anyway. 

The Valentine's Day version below is -- gasp! -- pretty good for you, too. Cocoa has polyphenols (a new study reminds us how they boost friendly HDL and lower mean LDL), but I think eating chocolate pancakes to get a daily dose of polyphenols is just as dumb as going to the beach to get vitamin D.  NO.  You go to the beach because it's FUN, and there's WATER, and you can make SANDCASTLES, and read a NOVEL.  And you eat these chocolate pancakes because they TASTE GREAT, not because they'll make you live forever.

Then again, they do have flaxseed.

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Recipe for Tender Valentine's Day Chocolate Pancakes

These soft and tender pancakes make lovely droopy stacks, and the cocoa lends a subtle bass note.  Those who want more of a chocolaty jolt can, I suppose, add some mini chocolate chips, but I prefer them without.  A drizzle of maple syrup brings the chocolate flavor to the fore.

Please cook these in butter to get nice, crisp edges.  They really don't need additional butter for serving.

Makes about 25 slender, tender pancakes

1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup old-fashioned rolled oats (any oats should be fine, actually)
2 tablespoons ground flaxseed
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup (unsweetened) cocoa powder
1 teaspoon espresso powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons cold butter, cubed, plus additional butter for the griddle
2 eggs
2 cups well-shaken, reduced-fat buttermilk

Place all the dry ingredients (flours through salt) in a food processor fitted with the metal blade and process briefly to combine.  Add the cubed butter and process again for 15 seconds.  Add the eggs and buttermilk and process for a total of about 20 seconds, stopping the machine halfway through and scraping the sides and bottom of the bowl carefully with a thin silicone spatula.  Make sure the dry bits are all fully incorporated, then transfer to a medium bowl.  Let the batter rest 5 full minutes.  (This is important.)

Meanwhile, heat a cast-iron griddle or other pancake apparatus over medium high heat until drops of water sizzle then quickly evaporate.  (Do not try to cook the pancakes until the griddle is sufficiently hot.)  Grease with butter.  Use an ice cream scoop to dollop the batter on the hot griddle.  Cook until the pancakes puff, the edges dry, and you've got nice color on the underside.  This took almost 3 minutes for my first batch, but latter batches took only a minute or so because the griddle was much hotter.  Flip and cook the other side until set.  (You may store leftover batter for up to 24 hours in the refrigerator.)

Serve hot, with maple syrup.

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The Most Superlative Food Trends List Anywhere.

How many food trend prediction lists have you read already, on this, the third day of the new year? Five? Ten? Fifty?  Have you seen this one?  Or this one?  Or THIS one?  That's just the tip of the iceberg, sister.

You only need One True Food Predictions List for 2011, and it appears below.  Make sure you're sitting down, cause this is going to blow your mind.

1.    Bananas will be yellow. 

2.    People will eat cupcakes.  People will eat bacon.  People will eat pie.  People will drink coffee.  People will breathe air, drink water, and get pregnant, though not necessarily in that order.

3.    Certain Americans will be too fat.  Other Americans will be too skinny.  Most, however, will be frustratingly nondescript, which will do nothing to boost the economy or spur reality show ratings.  Damn you, Medium, Average People. 

4.    Children’s menus will still offer chicken nuggets, but they will now be coated with 100% whole grain particle matter.

5.    Kombucha will remain wildly popular, though only 6 people know what it really is.

6.    A well-known pizza chain will invent a new way to put even more cheese on its pizza: by injecting cheese into the cheese. 

7.    Another chain will debut a donut whose hole is stuffed with a fully loaded baked potato.

8.    New energy drinks will combine coffee, tea, Coke, ginseng, chocolate, and meth.  College kids will drink it, then it will be banned, then there will be a 6-hour Special Edition: Dateline NBC with sources profiled only in shadow.  Then a very special Intervention.  Then a very, very special Celebrity Rehab.

9.    Parents will seek ever more innovative ways to feed their kids spinach without discussing, touching, planting, harvesting, thinking about, chewing, or swallowing any actual leaves.

10.    Trend stories like this one will dominate newspapers, magazines, and websites for another week, and then we’ll move onto Valentine’s Day.  Which chocolate best suits your sweetie's personality?  Take our quiz to find out!

Welcome to the new year.

Morning

Things I should be doing right now:

• making bread dough
• making cranberry sauce
• rolling out pie crusts
• smacking myself for ordering a 20 pound turkey
• readying beds for guests
• peeling / cooking / mashing sweet potatoes
• paying bills
• making sure my tablecloth shows no evidence of last year's gravy
• making sure I know what to do when the oven freaks out mid-turkey, which happens every year
• flossing 
• figuring out what made me walk into a pole this morning / trying not to do that again, at least not in front of people
• doing something useful with my life
• becoming a better person
• standing up taller / sitting up straighter / telling funnier jokes / being less annoying, in general
• helping an old lady / old man / blind person cross the street
• plucking the woolly pills off my cheap sweaters
• buying nicer sweaters
• eating more pudding

What I shouldn't be doing:

• writing this.

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Recipe for Vanilla Spice Poached Pears with quick homemade granola and Greek yogurt

Despite its elegance and the numerous words in the recipe title, this breakfast -- which makes a splendid offering for overnight guests -- is easy.  E-A-S-Y.  It will also make your entire house smell like lemon, vanilla, and spices.  NOTE: The pears do need plenty of time (45 minutes?) to cool in their syrup, so plan accordingly.  You can make the granola while the pears poach and cool.

Flo Braker's Baking for All Occasions (Chronicle, 2008), a book I was proud to consult on back in 2006, inspired my poaching method.  I also, as an aside, bake her Cinnamon Bubble Buns every year around this time; according to my children, this year will be no exception.

Makes 6 servings

Pears:
    6 small, firm-but-ripe Bartlett pears (mine were 4 ounces each, but you have some leeway)
    1 cup granulated sugar
    1 thick slice lemon
    1/2 vanilla bean
    1/2 to 1 whole cinnamon stick
    3 whole cloves
    4 cardamom pods

Granola:
    1/4 cup vegetable oil (I use canola)
    1/4 cup honey
    1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
    2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
    1-1/2 cups coconut (I use unsweetened desiccated, but you can certainly sub sweetened, flaked)
    1 cup whole almonds, rough-chopped
    1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

    Plain Greek yogurt, for serving

Pears: Peel the pears, leaving a little peel and the stem on top for show.  Gently scoop out the bottom core with a small spoon or melon baller. 

Set the pears aside, and place 4 cups of cold water and the remaining pear ingredients (sugar through cardamom) in a 4- or 5-quart (medium) saucepan.  (Scrape the seeds from the vanilla bean, and place the seeds and pod in the water.)  Bring just to a boil, stirring until the sugar is completely dissolved.  Add the pears, reduce heat to low, and place a little parchment circle directly on top of the fruit to keep it submerged.  (Flo says you can use a paper towel.)

Simmer very gently, uncovered, until pears are just tender when pierced, turning them around a few times so all sides poach evenly.  This will take about 15 minutes, depending on the size of your pears.  Remove from heat and let pears cool completely in the syrup. (If making ahead, cool to room temp, then refrigerate pears in their syrup, discarding the lemon slice and cinnamon stick.)

Granola: Preheat the oven to 325.  Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment or silpat.

In a large bowl, whisk the oil, honey, and vanilla until completely combined.  Dump in the oats, coconut, almonds, and cinnamon, and give everything a good stir, coating all the dry ingredients evenly.  Scrape onto the prepared baking sheet, and bake, stirring every 10 minutes, for about 25 to 28 minutes, or until nice and brown.  Cool.

To serve, set each pear in a shallow bowl.  Spoon a little granola around it and dollop with yogurt.  Sprinkle yogurt with some poaching liquid, if desired.

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V

From what I understand, there are people who don't eat meat at Thanksgiving. 

V people.

Obviously, I'm talking about ventriloquists.

OK, FINE, I'm talking about vegetarians.  But I could be talking about violaists.  Or vociferous Virginians.  Or voluptuous Vulcans. And maybe I am.  Maybe I am. 

Regardless, I do want to share this salad with you, even though it looks more like a Christmas edible than a Thanksgiving creation.  And yet I strongly believe that, as a lovely side dish best enjoyed at room temperature, it would make an excellent, make-ahead addition to a vegetarian Thanksgiving feast.  I promise that it will play nicely with your cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, stuffing, green veg, and pie, and that vegetarians of all stripes will enjoy it while I inhale my turkey. 

To boot (please explain this phrase to me), it's protein-rich.  That's right: it's the perfect protein-rich Thanksgiving side dish, replete not only with quinoa, but also with black beans.  It's also -- watch out! -- vegan.

I wouldn't recommend it for a traditional Thanksgiving meal only because it's so very nontraditional, plus with the grains and beans, it's extremely filling, so if you're serving meat in the form of turkey, and sausagey stuffing, and bacony brussels sprouts, and other animalistic doodads, you won't have room in your gut for the likes of this.  Vegetarians, though, I think they will have room.  I believe this deep down, in the bottom of my heart, in a spot so deep it practically touches my feet.

Finally, I challenge vegetarians to enjoy this salad not only on Thanksgiving, but also on Hanukkah, Christmas (bookmark, please -- see those colors?), New Year's (Chinese and western), Groundhog Day, and, most especially, my birthday, and yours. 

Let's drink a toast to us, shall we?

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Protein-Rich Black Quinoa Salad with holiday aspirations

This salad keeps well for several days in the fridge, a godsend during the holidays when you're busy making pies and preparing for out-of-town guests.  It's best at room temperature, though, so be sure to take it out of the refrigerator about 20 minutes before you plan to eat.  I scored a bag of black quinoa while in Vancouver but you may certainly substitute any quinoa whose acquaintance you happen to make.

Makes 6 to 8 servings

3/4 cup quinoa (preferably black)
1 cup fresh pomegranate arils/seeds
One 15-ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup diced, seeded English cucumber
1 avocado, diced
2 teaspoons pomegranate molasses
1 teaspoon red wine vinegar
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

 Set the quinoa in a fine-mesh strainer and rinse thoroughly under cool running water.  Place in a medium saucepan with 1-1/2 cups of cold water.  Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover, and simmer gently until grains are tender, most of the water has been absorbed, and the quinoa has sent out little white curlicue tendrils, about 15 to 20 minutes, give or take.  Drain any remaining water and set in a wide, shallow bowl to cool completely.

Stir in the pomegranate seeds, black beans, cucumber, and avocado.  In a medium bowl, whisk the molasses, vinegar, and olive oil, and season well with salt and pepper.  Scrape over the salad and stir well to coat evenly.  Sprinkle generously with additional salt to taste.

Serve immediately, or refrigerate and bring to room temperature before serving.  May be made two or three days ahead.  (For best results, add the avocado just before serving.)

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Pie-love

I'm going to just put this out there so we don't waste time.  None of this "This pumpkin pie reminds me of my grandma" or "The pilgrims served this pumpkin pie on the first Thanksgiving" or "I remember living in a pumpkin patch back in '69."  We don't have time for that kind of thing with Thanksgiving 12 days away.  No time.  The party's coming, the storm's a brewing, the train is leaving the station.

Nancie McDermott's Southern Pies: A Gracious Plenty of Pie Recipes from Lemon Chess to Chocolate Pecan (Chronicle, 2010) has a recipe for pumpkin pie to end all pumpkin pies, and I say this as someone who screwed the baking-part up pretty royally yet still managed to turn out the best [expletive] pumpkin pie I've ever made in my particular, personal lifetime.  I also served it to an avowed pumpkin pie hater, and it changed her mind about pumpkin pie.  That's a powerful endorsement, especially as this person is a teenage girl, and teenage girls don't often change their minds about things, unless you're talking about boys, clothes, shoes, music, hairstyles, make-up, future career paths, tolerance for siblings, or boys.  Or also boys.

And so, I have singlehandedly (along with Nancie McDermott, fine) (and Emily Luchetti, explained below) saved your Thanksgiving dessert, because aside from a pecan pie, and maybe an apple pie, this is really the only pie recipe you'll need, unless you want a butterscotch pie.  Nancie has one of those in her book, too (p. 27).

This pumpkin pie, which is the one I'm making every Thanksgiving from now on, reminds me of my grandma.*

It's the one the pilgrims served on the first Thanksgiving.*

It's the one I made while living in a pumpkin patch back in '69.*

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Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pie with lightly sweetened nutmeg cream

Let me state right off the bat that I have a deep and abiding passion for Emily Luchetti's pie and tart dough, from her book Classic Stars Desserts.  I turn to this recipe again and again, and it's the only one that never, ever fails me.  So it's the dough I used when baking Nancie's pumpkin pie.  You can find the dough recipe online through Google Books via this link.  (Click back to page 290.)  I make the "dough with water," which makes enough for two pies.  (Refrigerate or freeze the second half of dough for later use.)  Luchetti's book is fantastic, so, frankly, you may just want to buy it and enjoy the rest of the recipes, too.

The recipe below is adapted from Nancie McDermott's wonderful and quite elegant cookbook, Southern Pies (Chronicle, 2010).  Nancie herself adapted the recipe from a 1967 version in Kentucky's Winchester Sun newspaper.

Makes one 9-inch pie

Your favorite pie dough recipe for a 9-inch, single crust pie (see head note), unbaked
3/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon cardamom
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups pumpkin puree (you'll need to buy one large or two 15-ounce cans and will have quite a lot leftover -- make this)
3/4 cup evaporated milk
2 large eggs, beaten
1/4 cup really good honey
Freshly whipped, lightly sweetened heavy cream with a pinch of nutmeg

Preheat the oven to 450 with the rack in the lowest position.  Line a 9-inch glass pie plate with your dough and crimp.  In a medium bowl, whisk the sugar, spices, and salt.  In a large bowl, whisk the pumpkin, evaporated milk, eggs, and honey.  Whisk in the sugar mixture and combine very well until smooth.  Pour filling into dough-lined pie plate and place in the oven on the bottom rack.

Here's what I did:  I baked the pie for 25 minutes at 450 before realizing I was supposed to have reduced the temperature at the 10 minute mark.  I then caught my mistake and baked it at 325 for 25 minutes longer, for a total of 50 minutes.  Because of the high heat, the custard was a little pock-marked, but the results tasted fantastic anyway.

If you want to follow the instructions as they were intended, bake at 450 for 10 minutes only, then reduce the heat to 325 and bake for 30 to 40 minutes longer, or until set.  This should give you a smoother top.

Cool completely on a rack.  Serve with generous dollops of whipped cream.

printable pdf

*Statements marked with an asterisk may not be completely true.

Nibbles

Here's what you'll do the next time a woman you don't know very well invites you up to Oakland on a Sunday night to meet some of her foodie friends.  1) Say yes, because you want to reward her initiative.  2) Freak out, because you know, without a doubt, that after you leave her house, and despite a fully functional GPS, you'll miss the turn for the highway and circle her neighborhood 16 times, with mounting and inexplicable panic, before some nice lady in a Honda Civic takes pity on you and points out the ramp for 580 eastbound. 3) Make these spiced nuts.

I'm impressed by women like Betsy.  Women who are genuinely social beings, who regularly step outside their comfort zones and throw parties for eclectic groups of people who don't necessarily know one another.  I don't do this myself.  I'm a decent guest, but it's rare you'll find me with my party make-up on in my own house, passing the canapes and sparkling with wit.  Two genes, one for party-throwing and another for geolocation, are both notably absent from my DNA.  It's my own pitiful preexisting condition.

Fortunately, I make a mean spiced nut.

As though that could possibly make up for it.

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Recipe for Party Pistachios

Here's a bare-bones recipe that serves as a flexible canvas for your own creativity.  The spicing is light, so you should up those elements (sweetness, saltiness, heat) to fit your own tastes.  I've experimented successfully with several kinds of sugars (even coconut sugar), different powdered chile peppers (ancho, chipotle), and funky salts, too.  Go crazy, even adding cinnamon, curry powder, or any spices that suit your fancy.

Makes enough to fill two 8-ounce mason jars

2-1/2 teaspoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
Large pinch black pepper
Pinch (large or small) cayenne pepper
8 ounces dry-roasted, unsalted pistachios
2 teaspoons water

Combine spices in a large skillet and set over medium heat.  Warm for 3 minutes, shaking the pan and swirling the seasonings frequently.  Add the pistachios and water.

Cook for almost 4 minutes longer, stirring frequently with a heatproof spatula.  At first the spices will stick to the bottom of the skillet, but towards the end the sugar will melt and the spices will loosen and cling to the nuts.  Don't walk away or you risk burning the nuts.

Turn out onto a rimmed baking sheet, scraping out any stubborn spices, and leave alone for 10 minutes to cool.  The nuts harden and get nice and crunchy upon standing.  Once fully cool, pack into airtight glass jars to retain optimal crunch.

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Matzo

When Passover rolls around each spring, I'm always kind of shocked by how excited matzo makes me, and everyone around me.  I mean, it's not supposed to make you excited.  We Jews are supposed to eat these dry, flat, crackery squares in recognition of the hardship faced by our forebears as they fled persecution in Egypt.  My god, they didn't have time to let their bread rise!  That's SAD! But we in this house get all giddy about matzo.  Please keep this fact quiet.

I have to time exactly when to make the first matzo brei of the year, because once I make it for breakfast, all I hear all day long for the next 7 days, and beyond (because I always buy too much matzo), is "Thanks for making matzo brei again!"  And I'm like, "Uh, I don't think I'm making it again.  I just made it yesterday."  And they're like, "Yes, you will!  Thanks for making it again!"  And so I make it again. 

For the uninitiated, matzo brei, at least the way I make it, is kind of like French toast -- sort of -- but with matzo instead of bread.  You wet the matzo, then mix it with egg, and then skillet it like a big pancake. Then you flip it and pray that it won't land on the floor (5 second rule!) and then cook the other side.  Then you go to town with the butter and syrup, all the while trying not to get so excited that you forget that you're supposed to be sort of sad that it's not fluffy.

But we're never sad.  We're never sad at all.

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Recipe for Matzo Brei

I have no idea if this is authentic matzo brei by any means, but this is the way my mother taught me to make it, so this is the recipe I'll share.  Even if you don't celebrate Passover, I encourage you to grab a few boxes of matzo from the grocery store while it's plentiful and squirrel them away for future matzo brei extravaganzas.  Is this simply a vehicle for butter and syrup?  So what if it is?

Serves 2 to 3

3 squares plain matzo (not egg matzo, which is too tender)
1 large egg, lightly beaten
Butter and syrup, for serving

In a large bowl, break the matzos into a medium, irregular chunks.  Don't make them too tiny and dusty, but don't make them too big either.  About the size of half a randomly broken Triscuit is a very general guideline, but trust me, it really doesn't matter.

Cover the matzo with tepid tap water.  Let stand while you grab your egg, a nonstick 8-1/2" skillet, some cooking spray, butter and syrup. 

Spray the skillet, then set it over medium-low heat.  While it warms, hold your hand over the bowl, and gradually tip the water out into the sink.  Use your hand to stop the matzo from tumbling down the drain or into last night's dirty dishes.  Get out as much water as you can.  The matzo should be moist, but definitely not soggy.  Stir in the beaten egg, and turn a few times to coat the matzo pieces evenly.

Transfer to the skillet, pressing down firmly with a heatproof spatula so the mixture is like one big pancake.  Cook, partly covered, for 5 minutes, or until the underside is nearly dry.  Carefully run a knife along the perimeter to loosen, then use a large plate or pot lid to flip the matzo over, sliding it back into the skillet cooked-side-up.  Cook the second side another few minutes, until crisp and slightly browned.  Make sure the whole brei (or whatever it is) is cooked through and not wet.  Wet = not good.  Crisp on the outside and just a little moist inside = good.

Cut matzo brei into wedges and serve with butter and syrup.

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Gyoza

I love my children.  I really, really do, but every time we order gyoza when we go out and they eat five apiece and I get maybe one, I wonder who died and made them King Lord of Gyoza Dispensation.  Everyone who tells you, oh, kids are so sweeeeet, and they make your life so whooooole, they canoodle you, they admire you, yada yada yada forgets to tell you the most important and yet under-acknowledged fact of parenthood: you pretty much have to sacrifice the last cookie, the cake with the tallest crown of frosting, and the best bite of anything even remotely tasty to your kids all the goddamn time until you've turned 90 and croaked in your rocker.  And if no one admits that very fact to you, they're lying.  Case closed.

I love pouffy, chewy, gingery, porky, scalliony gyoza, and I finally realized, after many years of maternal suffering, that the only way I'd ever get to eat as many as I truly wanted would be to make a ridiculously obscene quantity at home.  That way we could all have an unlimited supply.

Even better: I forced my kids to make them themselves.

(insert evil laugh here)

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Recipe for Pork Pot Stickers (Gyoza), adapted from Nancie McDermott's Quick & Easy Chinese (Chronicle, 2008) (And look! I recently interviewed Nancie on iVillage here.)

This recipe isn't hard in the least, but it is a bit time-consuming.  From personal experience I can guarantee it's not only much more fun but far quicker to enlist unpaid laborers who may be living in your home. 

Makes 40 to 45  dumplings

1 pound ground pork
1/4 cup thinly sliced scallion
1 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce
1 tablespoon sesame oil
2 teaspoons minced fresh ginger
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/4 cup thawed and chopped frozen spinach, squeezed dry
36 round gyoza / won ton wrappers
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup water

Combine first eight ingredients (pork through spinach) in a large bowl and stir to combine well.

Working with no more than two gyoza wrappers at a time (keep the rest covered so they don't dry out), lay the wrappers on a cutting board.  Place a small ramekin of water close at hand.

Place 1 rounded teaspoon of pork filling in the center of each wrapper.  Dip your index finger in  water, then swirl it around the circumference of the wrapper.  Fold in half, tucking the filling securely inside, and press the edges to seal.  Make a few pleats if you're feeling fancy.  Transfer to a baking sheet and keep covered with a tea towel while you prepare the remaining gyoza.

Continue until you've finished filling and folding the dumplings.

Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat.  Swirl in oil.  Lay twelve filled gyoza in the pan and allow the undersides to brown undisturbed for a few minutes.  Scatter the cold water along the edges of the pan, cover tightly, and let gyoza steam for exactly seven minutes.  Uncover, and continue cooking one to three minutes longer, or until water has mostly evaporated but before gyoza stick too firmly to the pan.  Transfer to a large platter.

Continue pan-frying and steaming gyoza in this fashion until they're all cooked.  Serve hot with dipping sauce of your choice.

printable pdf

Poem

A Valentine's Day poem, just for you.

*

Roses are red

Violets are Blue

These chocolate waffles are tasty

And I don't care if you like them or not because it's Saturday and anyway you're not even paying me.

*

Inspired to share some equally romantic Valentine's Day poetry? 

Be my guest.

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Recipe for Chocolate Waffles

Joking aside, these waffles, which I've adapted from Lisa Yockelson's Chocolate Chocolate, are pretty much the ideal Valentine's Day breakfast.  Even with my changes, which cut out a fair amount of sugar and fat, they're still rich and sweet.  Do us all a favor and don't flood them with syrup.  A little goes a long way.

Makes 4-1/2 six-inch waffles (serves 4, 6, or  8, depending on the size of the eaters)

1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup cocoa powder, sifted
1-3/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons instant espresso powder
3/4 cup granulated sugar
Pinch salt
2 eggs
1/3 cup sour cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1-1/3 cups 2% milk
1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
A wee little, tiny bit of maple syrup, for serving

In a large bowl, whisk the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, espresso powder, sugar, and salt. 

In a separate large bowl, whisk the eggs, sour cream, vanilla, and milk well to combine.  Whisk in the melted butter.

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and fold enthusiastically with a rubber spatula.  You don't want to stir the dickens out of it, but you do want to get all the dry ingredients evenly moistened, with no powdery pockets hiding out on the bottom of the bowl.

Set aside for a good 5 minutes while you preheat your waffle iron.

Coat the waffle iron with nonstick spray and scoop 1 cup of batter into the center.  (Use a measuring cup to avoid under- or over-filling the iron.)  Cook according to manufacturer's directions.  Mine took 4-1/2 minutes per waffle.  You want them set and cooked through, but not hard.  Carefully remove to a plate.  Repeat with remaining batter.

Serve plain, or with a touch of maple syrup.  Stake your territory with a heart-shaped flag, if desired.

printable pdf

Winners ('09)

Was it easy?  Hell no.  All three of the cookies in this year's contest were winners, in the sense that each earned numerous votes and counted several die-hard fans among their ranks.  As a reminder, the finalists were: Runaround's Red Velvet Elvises; Saveur's Cinnamon Snaps; and Heather's Coconut and Chocolate Bullseyes.

In the end, only one cookie reigned supreme.

But let me back up.  On Saturday night, my good friend Stacy hosted six families, including ours, for a gingerbread-house-and-cocktail holiday party.  The kids made gingerbread houses; the adults sipped cocktails.  The evening would have turned out differently had the situation been reversed.

With Stacy's permission, I brought all three varieties of cookies to the party for everyone to eat, discuss, and, ultimately, judge. 

Judges included 12 adults and 16 children between the ages of five and fourteen, and attendees were tasked with voting for their favorite cookie.

The winner?

*The Bullseyes!*

Heather Walker took top honors with her swirly, chocolaty, coconutty cookies.  Divisions were fierce among the ranks, and we almost came to fisticuffs over our respective preferences.  Hair was pulled, insults hurled, cookies ground in faces.

I jest.  It was all in good fun, and everyone behaved.

So, Heather, you will soon be the proud owner of Jill O'Connor's new book, Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Gooey Treats for Kids (Chronicle, 2009). 

Oh!  And the random raffle winner for the second copy of Jill's book is....................... Gala!

Congratulations to both winners, and thank you sincerely to everyone for playing.

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Update 12/22/09: OK, due to demand in the comments,  I will fulfill your holiday wishes and present you with the other finalists' recipes.  Here is a link to Saveur's cinnamon snaps and here is a pdf of the Red Velvet Elvises, which Runaround was kind enough to provide in printable form.  (You may want to halve the recipe for the buttercream, or you'll have plenty left over.)

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Recipe for Heather's Winning Coconut and Dark Chocolate Bullseyes

These cookies are pretty, chocolaty, coconutty, and can be made in advance.  In fact, keep in mind that the dough needs to chill overnight.  I made a few very slight modifications to Heather's instructions simply to provide clarity.  (N.B. This recipe was adapted from Martha Stewart.)

Makes 3 dozen cookies

9 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
1 ½ cups sweetened shredded coconut
6 ounces dark or bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
1/3 cup sweetened condensed milk

Cream 8 tablespoons butter and all of sugar until light and fluffy. (This will take about 5 minutes on medium high speed with an electric mixer.)  Add egg and vanilla and beat until fluffy.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt. Add flour mixture to butter mixture and beat on low until combined. Add coconut and beat until combined.

Place dough between 2 pieces of parchment and roll into a 10 x 15-inch rectangle about 1/8 inch thick. (I actually drew the dimensions of the rectangle on the bottom sheet of parchment to guide me.)  Transfer parchment-dough package to a baking sheet and chill for at least one hour or up to one day.

Place chocolate and remaining tablespoon of butter in the top of a double boiler. Melt completely, about 2 minutes, and remove from heat. Stir in the condensed milk. Let sit until slightly thickened, about 5 minutes.

Remove dough from refrigerator and peel off top layer of parchment. Using an offset spatula, spread melted chocolate mixture over the dough. Using the bottom piece of the parchment for support, roll the dough into a log. (You may want to place the parchment on a towel to minimize slipping.  You're going to roll this like sushi, using the paper to keep a tight roll as you go.)  Wrap the log in plastic wrap and chill overnight.

Heat oven to 350. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment. Remove plastic wrap from log and slice the dough into ¼ inch thick rounds. Place on baking sheets approximately 1 ½ inches apart. Bake until pale golden brown on edges, 8 -10 minutes. (Mine took 12-14 minutes.)  Move cookies to cooling rack. Store cookies in an airtight container for 2 weeks.

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