It turns out that buying a cookie jar is an excellent idea, unless, of course, you have things to accomplish throughout the course of the day that do not involve cookies. If, for example, you have work to do, you should not purchase a cookie jar. If you have to drive to a place, like a school, or an activity, like a piano lesson, or a doctor's appointment, or a volunteer commitment, you should also not buy a cookie jar. If you would like to parent a child, pay a bill, read some mail, recycle a newspaper, sponge a table, cane a chair, fold a pajama, or floss a tooth, you should. not. buy. a. cookie. jar.
Because I'm going to paint a picture of your life if you do buy one, and it's not pretty. You ready? Pay attention, cause this will go quickly:
1. You will look at that jar with an equal mix of lust and loathing pretty much 24/7. Lust, when it is full. Loathing, when it is empty. But also, loathing when it is full, because it will soon be empty.
2. You will think about cookies during non-cookie times, like, for example, the break of dawn, or when making a cassoulet.
3. You will notice little cloudy spots on your cookie jar because your rinse agent isn't really doing its job, or because dishwashing detergents now contain fewer phosphates. (I'm serious.) The best way to remove cloudy spots is to massage them with a lint-free cloth, or a little vinegar and water, and to do this, you must first eat all the cookies in the jar.
4. You will consider filling the jar with more healthful items, like apples, or clementines, or lentils. Then you'll realize this is stupid, because it's not called a clementine jar for a reason.
5. You will be forced to make cookies whose size is constrained by the diameter of the jar's inflexible opening. So you can't make triangular cookies, dodecagonal cookies, or cookies shaped like unnaturally large snowflakes. That also begs the question: if no two snowflakes are the same, why does a snowflake COOKIE CUTTER EVEN EXIST?
So there you go.
If you choose to completely discount my well-reasoned arguments and purchase a cookie jar anyway, may the force be with you. Just please buy one with a very tight seal, and avoid those shaped like Garfield. Mine is glass, and it cost me about $10.
Here are some ideas from the archives for jar-friendly cookies:
Now go eat a clementine.
(p.s. If you like things in jars, you'll love this.)