5 second rule

Ten

Ah, ten.  Remember ten?

I remember dropping a pitcher of V8 on the yellow linoleum and watching the bloodlike pool overtake the kitchen. I remember sleeping over at my best friend's house when Syrup, her golden retriever, lept on the bed and took a leisurely stroll across my face. And I remember Sunday nights, sitting at the dinner table, watching the sun go down and feeling inexplicably sad.

As a kid, I didn't much feel in control of my environment, didn't quite realize I was master of my domain.

So as a parent, it's fun to watch my children play, to get that different perspective.  I sit on a chair in the front yard, hiding behind my open newspaper, and spy on the boys as they interact with each other, and with their friends.  They make up all kinds of games, these kids, constructing elaborate hierarchies, modifying rules until everyone agrees.  I love observing their social dynamic, because when I was their age, I had no perspective, and therefore couldn't appreciate my world from an outsider's point of view.

My boys have penta-playdates.  It's a term they coined when they invite over two boys from one family and a third from another -- five boys in the house at once.  They run around like crazy, zipping this way and that, dashing across the yard, chasing each other like hyped-up, caffeinated lemurs.

The only thing that slows them down is cake.  Call "Cake!" and everyone freezes. They come to the table,  pull out chairs, and display good manners, at least for the first minute or two.  Then they blow bubbles in their milk and crack each other up about whatever and everything and nothing, until all five of them double over with shoulder-heaving laughter, five boy-chins smeared with frosting.

I'm no longer ten, and I've definitely learned a lot in the intervening years, but one thing I've learned above all else is this: on any day, on any night, Sunday or otherwise, it's nearly impossible to be sad in the presence of cake.

Winners ('09)

Was it easy?  Hell no.  All three of the cookies in this year's contest were winners, in the sense that each earned numerous votes and counted several die-hard fans among their ranks.  As a reminder, the finalists were: Runaround's Red Velvet Elvises; Saveur's Cinnamon Snaps; and Heather's Coconut and Chocolate Bullseyes.

In the end, only one cookie reigned supreme.

But let me back up.  On Saturday night, my good friend Stacy hosted six families, including ours, for a gingerbread-house-and-cocktail holiday party.  The kids made gingerbread houses; the adults sipped cocktails.  The evening would have turned out differently had the situation been reversed.

With Stacy's permission, I brought all three varieties of cookies to the party for everyone to eat, discuss, and, ultimately, judge. 

Judges included 12 adults and 16 children between the ages of five and fourteen, and attendees were tasked with voting for their favorite cookie.

The winner?

*The Bullseyes!*

Heather Walker took top honors with her swirly, chocolaty, coconutty cookies.  Divisions were fierce among the ranks, and we almost came to fisticuffs over our respective preferences.  Hair was pulled, insults hurled, cookies ground in faces.

I jest.  It was all in good fun, and everyone behaved.

So, Heather, you will soon be the proud owner of Jill O'Connor's new book, Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Gooey Treats for Kids (Chronicle, 2009). 

Oh!  And the random raffle winner for the second copy of Jill's book is....................... Gala!

Congratulations to both winners, and thank you sincerely to everyone for playing.

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Update 12/22/09: OK, due to demand in the comments,  I will fulfill your holiday wishes and present you with the other finalists' recipes.  Here is a link to Saveur's cinnamon snaps and here is a pdf of the Red Velvet Elvises, which Runaround was kind enough to provide in printable form.  (You may want to halve the recipe for the buttercream, or you'll have plenty left over.)

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Recipe for Heather's Winning Coconut and Dark Chocolate Bullseyes

These cookies are pretty, chocolaty, coconutty, and can be made in advance.  In fact, keep in mind that the dough needs to chill overnight.  I made a few very slight modifications to Heather's instructions simply to provide clarity.

Makes 3 dozen cookies

9 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
1 ½ cups sweetened shredded coconut
6 ounces dark or bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
1/3 cup sweetened condensed milk

Cream 8 tablespoons butter and all of sugar until light and fluffy. (This will take about 5 minutes on medium high speed with an electric mixer.)  Add egg and vanilla and beat until fluffy.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt. Add flour mixture to butter mixture and beat on low until combined. Add coconut and beat until combined.

Place dough between 2 pieces of parchment and roll into a 10 x 15-inch rectangle about 1/8 inch thick. (I actually drew the dimensions of the rectangle on the bottom sheet of parchment to guide me.)  Transfer parchment-dough package to a baking sheet and chill for at least one hour or up to one day.

Place chocolate and remaining tablespoon of butter in the top of a double boiler. Melt completely, about 2 minutes, and remove from heat. Stir in the condensed milk. Let sit until slightly thickened, about 5 minutes.

Remove dough from refrigerator and peel off top layer of parchment. Using an offset spatula, spread melted chocolate mixture over the dough. Using the bottom piece of the parchment for support, roll the dough into a log. (You may want to place the parchment on a towel to minimize slipping.  You're going to roll this like sushi, using the paper to keep a tight roll as you go.)  Wrap the log in plastic wrap and chill overnight.

Heat oven to 350. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment. Remove plastic wrap from log and slice the dough into ¼ inch thick rounds. Place on baking sheets approximately 1 ½ inches apart. Bake until pale golden brown on edges, 8 -10 minutes. (Mine took 12-14 minutes.)  Move cookies to cooling rack. Store cookies in an airtight container for 2 weeks.

printable pdf

Vanish!

Foods I wouldn't mourn were they to suddenly disappear from the planet:

Chili cheese dogs
Sherbet
Mike 'n' ikes
Black licorice
Coke/Pepsi/Mountain Dew/Squirt (?!)
Rockstar energy drink
Prune juice
Funyons
Liverwurst / olive loaf
Kraft "Bagel-fuls" (a frozen bagel filled with cream cheese and 'fruit filling')
Instant coffee
Hi-C/ Hawaiian punch
Crystal light
Anything with the word "froot" in it
Non-dairy creamer
Miracle Whip
Key lime pie flavored yogurt
Tofurky
Deli potato salad or deli macaroni salad (I don't care which deli)
Jelly donuts (sorry!)
Booberry cereal
Toaster strudel
Hot Pockets
Cool Whip
Extra Creamy Cool Whip
Fat-free Cool Whip
Lite Cool Whip
Sugar-Free Cool Whip
Hungry Man Frozen Dinner - Mexican Style Fiesta (ole!)
Salt-water taffy
Bud Light Chelada (beer with tomato & clam juice) (no, i am not kidding)

Man, this was way more fun than I expected.

Necklaces

In my fantasy, I would like to make a pomegranate necklace.

To go back in time, to summer camp, and to sit around the arts and crafts table.  I'd put on a smock, get a teeny hole puncher, and very carefully pierce a single perfect hole in the center of each pomegranate aril.  Then I'd wow my fellow campers, and the arts and crafts leader, and my counselor, and string the arils on a bright, waxy lanyard. 

One aril, two arils, three arils.  And on and on, until the whole lanyard glistened with fruity, ruby beads.

My friends would go nuts.  "Make me one!  Make me one!" they'd beg, both consecutively and in unison, and their pleas would be deafening, but also invigorating, and I'd comply, stringing arils faster and faster, with dexterity and grace, until all the necklaces were done.  Then I'd stand before my bunkmates, and as they'd lean forward, I'd drape the necklaces over their heads like so many Olympic medals.

Soon, arts and crafts would be over, and as we'd line up to leave -- me beaming, my friends fingering their sparkly jewels -- one girl, let's call her Alice, would squeal: "Let's eat them!"

And just like that, we'd all begin chewing our necklaces, breaking up with laughter, juice dripping onto our shirts as we'd head down to the clear, cool lake.

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Recipe for Homemade Granola with pomegranate seeds and yogurt

I just look at pomegranate seeds and feel inspired.  So while it would have been perfectly acceptable to eat a giant bowl of them out of hand, I wanted to pair them with something homemade.  And so, granola.  This is a variation of the recipe I wrote up almost a year ago on Accidental Hedonist.

For the granola (this recipe yields 5 to 6 cups):

2 cups rolled oats
1-1/2 cups sweetened or unsweetened coconut (I used a combination)
3/4 cup chopped pecans
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cardamom
1/4 cup canola oil
1/4 cup honey
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
3/4 cup mixed dried fruit (I used golden and regular raisins, cranberries, and blueberries)

For serving:

Plain nonfat yogurt, pomegranate seeds

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment.

In a large bowl, mix together the oats, coconut, pecans, cinnamon, and cardamom.  In a medium bowl or large measuring cup, whisk the oil, honey, and two extracts until very well combined.

Pour the wet ingredients over the dry and stir thoroughly, until all the oats and nuts are evenly moistened.

Spread the granola on the baking sheet in an even layer. Bake for a total of 25 to 28 minutes, stirring at the 10 and the 20 minute marks (this is essential), or until deep golden brown. (Granola will harden as it cools.) Stir in the dried fruit.

Once fully cooled, store in a large ziploc and, if you have one, an airtight tin as well.

For each serving, layer granola with plain nonfat yogurt and fresh pomegranate seeds.

printable pdf

Fritters

Chocolate dipped?  Yes.  Custard-filled?  Fine.  Plain glazed?  Absolutely.  But you can keep your jelly doughnuts.

Sorry.  Jelly is for sandwiches, toast, and even (might I suggest?) as a glaze for chicken, assuming the jelly is apricot and you whisk it into spicy Dijon.  If you've never tried this, don't cast aspersions.

Back to doughnuts: filling a doughnut with jelly just makes no sense. It's too sweet and gloppy, and way, way too risky from a sartorial point of view. All I need is spinach in my teeth, conditioner in my ear, and a big trail of jelly from my collar to my navel. If such a fate were to befall anyone, I promise, it would befall me.

Now it's Hanukkah, a holiday when Jews are basically commanded to eat fried foods.  I made batches and batches of latkes, but there's also dessert to consider.  And as much as I'd like to make doughnuts (not jelly ones), honey-drizzled banana fritters were just a whole lot easier.  No yeast, no rising time, no jellified interior.

For the fritter recipe, and to read my article on natural sweeteners (including honey), please see my piece here on Nourish Network.

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Congratulations to the three cookie swap finalists: Runaround Sous for her Red Velvet Elvis Sandwich Cookies, Saveur for her Cinnamon Snaps, and Heather, who eked out a finalist's slot via a Facebook tie-breaker for her Coconut and Dark Chocolate Ganache Bullseyes.  I'll announce the winner in about a week.

Handyman

I hereby dedicate these latkes to Dan, who, on Thursday morning, offered to drive me to the ER after I had a close encounter with my 10-inch chef's knife.  Let's just say I came out the loser in that particular battle, and I'm not jonesing for a re-match anytime soon.

I'll back up.  We'd been having some electrical issues, so Dan the handyman was over doing handymany electricalish-type things. I was making soup, and in my haste, while I was cutting an onion -- well, let's just say there was blood.  Dan, to his credit, and with his hands tangled in electrical wires, tried to distract me with soothing small talk as I applied pressure to my wound and did my best not to faint.

So how was your Thanksgiving? he asked. 

Oh, it was great, I answered. We went to Berkeley, and we had turkey, and blahbity blah blah blah... 

And then, to be polite, and to distract myself further from my hemorrhaging finger, I initiated small talk back.  Something possessed me to ask him the one question people always ask me this time of year, a question that tends to vex me with its presumption:

So, I asked, do you have any big plans for Christmas?

And Dan looked at me and smiled, which must have been hard given my rather shocking and blood-spewing condition, and he replied:

Actually, I celebrate Hanukkah.

And I was like:

No way!  I celebrate Hanukkah, too!

And so we bonded about Hanukkah. 

Then Colin came home and took me to the doctor, who proceeded to do things to my finger with needles and stitches, things I would rather not discuss.

So if you, too, celebrate Hanukkah, I offer you my heartfelt wishes for a happy holiday filled with sweetness and joy.  May your sour cream be fresh, may your apple sauce be fruity, may your latkes be crisp, and may you always, always have a Jewish handyman in your home if you happen to sever a digit while making soup.

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N.B. Cookie swap voting ends at noon on Friday.

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Alison's Famous Hanukkah Latkes

I posted about this recipe from my dear friend Alison last year, but I'm re-printing it again because it's so fantastic.  I even made up a batch earlier today, and plan to cook still more later this weekend.

Makes approximately 40 latkes, give or take

10 russet potatoes

4 yellow onions, peeled and halved

4 eggs

1/2 cup matzoh meal (roughly)

Canola oil

Kosher salt

Sour cream and apple sauce, for serving

Preheat the oven to 250 degrees.

Peel the potatoes and plunge them in a large bowl with cold water.  Either cut them into large chunks and shred them and the onions in a food processor, OR keep the potatoes whole and grate them on the large holes of a box grater (with the onions).  

In a large bowl, beat the eggs lightly and set aside.

Transfer a few handfuls of shredded potatoes and onions to a double-thickness of paper towels, and squeeze out as much liquid as you can muster.  Place in the bowl with the eggs and repeat with remaining potatoes and onions.  You'll use quite a few paper towels, so be prepared.

Stir in the matzoh meal and season generously with salt and pepper.  Mix well with a fork, making sure to distribute the eggs thoroughly.

Heat a few glugs of oil in a large heavy skillet (you'll use about 1/4 cup oil at first, but you'll keep adding more) over medium-high heat.  To see if the oil is ready, put in a pinch of potato mixture; if it sizzles and turns golden in about 10 seconds, the oil is ready.  Use an ice cream scoop or 1/4 cup measure to form the latkes; drop in the oil and flatten gingerly with a spatula.  Cook until golden brown, about 2 minutes per side.  As you proceed, the pan will get hotter and the oil will need to be replenished.  Adjust the heat and add new oil as necessary.  Carefully remove any burnt particles.

When latkes are done, transfer to a paper towel-lined plate and sprinkle immediately with salt.  Transfer to a rimmed baking sheet and keep hot in the oven.  Repeat until you've cooked all the latkes.

Serve hot, with apple sauce and sour cream on the side.

printable pdf

Vote ('09)

First of all, I owe you a recipe for these Chocolate Cinnamon Ganache Hanukkah Cookies. It is below, for your sugary pleasure.  Sorry for the delay, mea culpa, and get off my back.

Second of all, it's time to vote. Thanks to all of you who submitted cookie swap ideas.  Now get ready to bring ecstatic joy and crushing sorrow to your fellow bipeds.  Here are the rules:

1.  Vote for three cookies from Friday's comments.  Please take a minute to drink in the contestants' own descriptions here, as some of them worked hard to impress you.  Please give (a) the contestant's name and (b) a brief cookie title/description for all three of your votes.

2.  You MAY vote for your own cookie, ONCE.  This will reward those of you who participated in the contest and bothered to come back to the blog to see it through.

3.  EVERYONE may cast three votes.  You do not have to have submitted a concept in order to vote. 

4.  I was going to offer an extra vote to those of you who donated to the food bank, but Colin told me that was inappropriate and unethical so I won't.  Hrrmph.

5. Do you want to Tweet about this post and get all 6 billion of your followers, FB friends, and mortal enemies to come stuff the ballot box on your behalf?  Go ahead.  What do I care?

6.  As a reminder, the top three vote recipients will be considered finalists, and I will contact them on Friday for their recipes.  If there is a tie, I will announce a 24-hour runoff on Facebook here.

7.  Voting begins now and will end at noon PST on Friday, December 11, 2009.  Again, this is where you go to see the full entries.

Here's a synopsis for lazy people: Carey's gingerbread cookies; Roz's curried pb cookies; Susan's crispy cayenne-y gingersnaps; Gala's pistachio white chocolate cookies with pistachio meal; Saveur's cinnamon snaps; BethieofVA's soft molasses spice cookies; Suzy's macadamia Mexican Wedding/Russian Tea cookies; Lee G's sugar cookies; Jennifer's butter spritzer M&M cookies; Cheryl A.'s candy cane bark; dunngood's gingersnaps (maybe with crystallized ginger/maybe chocolate dipped); Gin's white chocolate raspberry rugelach; Nancy's Russian tea cakes; Pei-Lin's croq-tele made out of randomness; Runaround's Red Velvet Elvis banana sandwich cookies with sprinkles and pb buttercream; Elisa's ultimate ginger cookies with several kinds of ginger; stephchows 7 layer cookies with marzipan, chocolate, and apricot jam; Dana McC's white chocolate-filled lemon macarons; Tara's vanilla almond macarons with chocolate ganache and pb filling; Nicole's bite-sized milk chocolate espresso cookies; heather's coconut chocolate bullseyes w/ ganache; and Diana's spicy oatmeal cranberry cookies.

Let the voting begin.

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Recipe for Chocolate Cinnamon Ganache Hanukkah Cookies

Adapted from The Ultimate Cookie Book (Wiley, 2007), a book my kids got me last year without my knowledge and with which they are singularly obsessed.  Please note that I flavored the ganache with cinnamon oil, which I happen to have in my baking bag of tricks.  Substitute ground cinnamon (to taste) if you like.

Makes about 3 dozen

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
2/3 cup dark brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 egg, at room temperature, lightly beaten
6 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
3/4 cup heavy cream
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon oil (see head note)
Powdered sugar

Melt butter and brown sugar in a medium saucepan, stirring occasionally with a heatproof spatula.  Remove from heat, stir in vanilla, and let cool completely.

Sift together flour and cocoa powder.  Add to cooled butter mixture, along with the egg, and mix until combined and flour particles are absorbed.  Do not overmix.  Divide dough in half, wrap in plastic, and chill for at least 30 minutes.  (I chilled it for a full day, then let it soften a bit at room temp and it worked just fine.)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and generously flour a board or work surface.  Whack the dough a few times if it's hard,then roll out to 1/4" thickness.  Stamp out stars with a star-shaped cookie cutter.  Re-roll scraps as necessary.  (Please don't leave dough at room temperature for too long.  If you only have one or two baking sheets, keep the dough cold and work in batches.)

Place stars on a parchment-lined baking sheet, and bake for 8 or 9 minutes.  Transfer to a rack to cool.

To make ganache, place chopped chocolate in a bowl.  Heat cream to a bare simmer, then pour over chocolate and set aside for five minutes, at which time give it a nice, steady stir until the chocolate dissolves and melts into a smooth, chocolaty cream.  Add the cinnamon oil, or ground cinnamon to taste.  Cool until thick.  This may take a while (20 minutes, 30 minutes, longer), so relax.

Sandwich the ganache between two star cookies, sprinkle with powdered sugar, and serve.

printable pdf

Jill

She's going to kill me, but i HAVE to open this post with this particular photo. It still  cracks me up more than 18 months later.

Anyone who has ever toured New Orleans will recognize this square in the French Quarter.  I was there in the spring of 2008 for a culinary conference.  Early one morning, I went for a walk with my friend Jill O'Connor, author of Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Gooey Treats for Kids (Chronicle, 2009), and we happened upon a tarot card reader setting up shop on the square.  I walked right by and continued yammering, only to realize a few minutes later that Jill had deserted me.

She'd pulled up a chair to hang with the tarot lady.  I slowly strolled  over, but eventually left to snap some photos, including the one of Jill having her cards read above.  When I came back to fetch her, I heard the tarot reader say, "Your husband will be taking you on a trip."

Jill replied, wide-eyed: "We're going to Italy next week!" 

The best part was when Jill pulled out her purse and asked how much she owed, and the tarot lady said: "However much you want to pay."

Jill offered her a ten and stood to leave.

The lady stopped her: "I'd rather have a twenty."

I just laughed.

I love people like Jill.  People who grab life by the throat and just squeeze it mightily, getting every bit of juice out of their time on the planet.  She's a funny gal, that Jill O'Connor, and saucy, too.

So when she asked me to test a few recipes for her book on baking with kids, I didn't hesitate.  The boys and I made Banana Split Pancakes with strawberries and Nutella,  Sunbutter Blossoms with chocolate kisses, and Hunka Chunka Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies.  She even quoted my kids in the book, which is just as colorful and beautifully designed as its grown-up predecessor.

That's why I'm so proud to offer two copies to the winners of my online cookie swap. 

 

Be aware that your entries must be submitted by midnight PST tonight.  Details are here, and you should leave your cookie description in the comments on that post.

I will leave you with an ever-so-slightly adapted recipe for Jill's Holy Moly! Strawberry Jam Roly Poly, a  tender pastry that's a cross between a scone and a shortcake.  I loved it because it was rustic and not very sweet -- the perfect foil for a thick pour of warm jam and, if you happen to have any, a small dollop of whipped cream.  I hope Jill will forgive me for using a little whole wheat pastry flour.  She's not the whole wheat pastry flour type, but I figure since I posted that photo of her and told the story about the tarot reading, I'm already in big trouble so who cares.

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p.s. Jill will be in San Jose, at Hicklebee's bookstore, signing copies of her book and handing out samples this Friday, December 11th, from 7pm-8:30pm.  (I'll be there, so don't get in my way.) Details are here.

p.p.s. Thanks to Lisa H. and two more mystery donors for their contributions to my food bank fundraiser.  We're up to $200 smackers.  Hey, buddy, got a fiver?

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Recipe for Jam Roly Poly

Aadapted from Jill O'Connor's Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Gooey Treats for Kids (Chronicle, 2009)

This oh-so-tender, rustic-looking pastry uses a brilliant technique: you grate frozen butter directly into the flour and mix it in with your hands.  Keep in mind that without the jam "sauce" on top, this pastry is not very sweet, so don't skip it.  This is a perfect treat to make with little kids.  Just grate the butter yourself.

Serves 8

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
10 tablespoons (1-1/4 sticks) unsalted butter, frozen
2/3 cup ice water, or more if needed
3/4 cup strawberry jam, or jam of your choice
1 tablespoon milk
Demerara sugar, for sprinkling (or substitute granulated sugar)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees and fit a baking sheet with parchment or Silpat.

Sift the flours, baking powder, nutmeg, and salt into a medium bowl.  Using the large holes of a box grater, grate the frozen butter directly into the flour mixture, and use your hands to lightly fluff the ingredients so the butter shreds are coated.  Place the bowl in the freezer for 5 minutes.

Drizzle the ice water into the flour-butter and stir until you have a soft, shaggy dough.  You may not use all the water, or you may use a few spoonfuls more.

Liberally coat a work surface with all-purpose flour and dump the dough onto the flour.  Have a bench scraper handy.  Knead the dough quickly, five or six times.  Using a floured rolling pin, roll the dough into a 9x13-inch rectangle and spread 5 tablespoons of the jam over top, leaving a jamless 1-inch border.  Use the scraper to help you roll the pastry, lengthwise, into a jellyroll.  Brush off excess flour with a pastry brush, if necessary.

Pinch the ends shut, seal with a little water, and transfer the roll (seam side down) to the prepared baking sheet.  Patch any holes with flour.  Brush with milk and sprinkle liberally with demerara sugar.

Bake for 30 minutes, or until pastry puffs and turns golden brown.  Cool a few minutes on the baking sheet, then use two spatulas to transfer to a rack for 10 minutes.  Use a serrated knife to cut into 8 slices.

Thin the remaining jam with a little water and warm in the microwave.  Spread the pastry with the warm jam, or pass alongside.

printable pdf

Swap ('09)

Ladies and gentlemen, bloggers and blogettes, masters and mistresses of the universe, I hereby announce the 2nd Annual 5 Second Rule Virtual Cookie Swap!

[Quick break as crowd roars its enthusiastic approval.]

Last year, the venerable Diva on a Diet took home the big prize for her winning Hungarian Horns. What did she win?  A box of lemons from my Meyer lemon tree, and a stack of 5 Second Rule note cards.  I even got to meet Diva, who lives in New York, at a San Fransisco blogging conference earlier this fall, so that was a thrill.

But I'm off topic!

The rules are only slightly different this year, and the prize is EVEN BETTER.

The Rules: Just like last year, describe (but don't actually give) your favorite homemade cookie in a few short sentences in the comments section.  Your prose should make our lips tremble, our bellies grumble, and our dental cavities quake.  This should be a cookie you have made before with great success, because honestly, I don't want to make nasty cookies.  If the cookie recipe isn't originally yours, that's okay -- just tell us whose it is and what you do when you bake it to make it your own.  Do not submit links or actual step-by-step recipes at this stage. 

The Judging: After the entries are all submitted, you -- the readers -- will also act as the preliminary judges.  I will write a follow-up post next week, and you will have two days to vote for your favorite cookie concepts to determine the 3 finalists.  I will not permit ties this year (I have a book to write) so in the event of a tie, I will announce a concept-off on my 5SR Facebook page, and fans of that page will break the tie by voting within 24 hours. 

I will then contact the 3 finalists and ask them to email me their recipes.

The Winners: Then I, or any of my associates whom I deem worthy (and who may be related to me or live in my neighborhood), will bake up the finalists' cookies.  Judges will be tapped, and we will taste all the cookies and announce a single grand prize winner.  (We will follow the judging model from last year's pecan pie bakeoff.)  The two runners-up will get bragging rights, but no prize.  Sorry -- no soup for you.

The *WILD CARD*:  There will also be a wild-card raffle.  Everyone who participates by submitting a cookie description in the comments below will be entered in a random drawing to win a prize.  There will be only 1 wild card winner.

The PRIZE: I have not one, but two copies of the newly released cookbook by Jill O'Connor: Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Gooey Treats for Kids (Chronicle Books, 2009) to give away.  Jill is a pastry chef, hilarious author, and a friend of mine (see my disclosure) and I will devote a separate post to her wonderful new book next week.  One book will go to the Grand Prize Winner and one will go to the Wild Card Winner.  Will these two winners also get a few 5SR note cards or Meyer lemons in their prize boxes?  Perhaps!

So go ahead.  Leave your concept below.  This space will remain open until Monday night, 12/7/09 at midnight PST.

[p.s. My sincere thanks to Heather W. for her contribution to the food bank!  We're at $150.  Can we reach $200?]

Disclosure

[Fist bumps to Lanie, Nat, Diva, Sarah, & Diana P. for their early contributions to the Second Harvest Food Bank!  If I'm missing your name, it's because I didn't know you gave, so pls email me.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here.]

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It's time for me to open up.  Come out of my shell, if you will.

The subject?  Books.

Over the next few weeks, I'll be cooking from some of the recently released cookbooks that teeter on the edge of my desk.  I pray I don't get the hiccups or the stack will topple, sending my mouse careening off the mousepad, where, with my luck, it'll hurtle towards the window, shatter the glass, and thunk unceremoniously onto the potted plant in my backyard.

So I need to write about these books.

But first, this disclosure.  

There has been a lot of talk, here and elsewhere, about freebies and blogs.  The FTC has even weighed in.  Here's my policy, which I plan to archive someplace prominent for future reference:

My colleagues are other food writers.  Some write for newspapers, or magazines, or for the web, and some write cookbooks.  As you know, I straddle many of these worlds myself.

When I get wind of a cookbook release, either through an author or a publishing house, I make a decision: does this book sound like something I would like, and if so, is there a possibility I will cook from it and highlight it on my blog?  If the answer is yes, I accept the book.  If the answer is no, I don't.  Rest assured that the Nos outnumber the Yeses by a wide margin. 

My favorite publishing houses are those that email me descriptions of new releases so I can opt in to receive them.  I hate receiving unsolicited cookbooks because they often cover topics on which I never write (wine & spirits, for example), and they therefore just take up space.  Life's too short, and our mutual time is too valuable.

Also: 

I do know some of the authors of the books I cook from.  I meet them at culinary conferences, or via mutual acquaintances.  Our professional circles intersect, and sometimes we become friends and send each other snarky emails or happy birthday wishes with lots of exclamation points.  It happens.  If I like their work, and they offer me a free copy of their book, I'll accept it.  If I cook from it with success, I'll blog about it here.  If they want to give away a copy to my readers, I'll consider it, and make a case-by-case decision.  But very often,  I do not pay for these books.  Just as film reviewers aren't out of pocket for the films they see, I do not pay for all the books in my collection.  There's my disclosure.  Some I buy myself; some I accept for free.  Some authors I know; many more I do not.  Like everything else in this crazy life, it's a mishmash.

So you should assume that if I'm spotlighting a new cookbook, it's because I've made a decision to help a worthy author gain wider exposure.  In a world where 95% of bookstore shelves are lined with books by the same 10 people (Sandra Lee, Rachael Ray, Martha Stewart, and so forth), books by lesser known writers like my colleagues and some friends rarely get prominent shelf space or marketing brouhaha.  I'm very proud and eager to share those books with you, so long as they're good.

That's it.  Pass the walnuts.